Dear Julie
by ChillyFries
Summary: A series of unsent letters which Ben writes to Julie as he tries to figure out what went wrong between them. T for language.
1. Me

Dear Julie,

I'm an asshole.

I shouldn't have missed all your big tennis games. I shouldn't have played video games while you were trying to talk to me. I shouldn't have blown you off so many times. I would take all those things back if I could. I'm a idiot and I'm sorry.

But I guess that doesn't matter. You're over me now, and I guess I'm over you too. I don't want you back. I've thought about it, and I can't think of a way to make it work.

Then why am I even writing this? I have no idea. It's not like I'm going to mail this to you. I keep hearing people say that writing stuff out can help with things. Catharsis and all that. Anyway, I'm an asshole.

But we were together for ten months. Ten whole months. I'm surprised you stuck around more than ten days. I must have done something right, at least at first. Ten months is a long time for something like that.

You said you're my friend now, right? I hope you don't mind if I keep writing. Of course you won't, you'll never see these letters. I just need some help from a friend right now. I want to know what I did right, so I can do it again. I don't want to let anyone else down like I let you down.

I guess I'm starting to get lonely.

I hope whats-his-face is being good to you. I hope he's better than I was.

— Ben


	2. You

Dear Julie,

You're an asshole.

I made mistakes, sure. Tons of them. More than enough to justify you breaking up with me. But that doesn't mean it was all my fault.

I met a girl this week. Casey. She's gorgeous, plus she's a fan of me, and not one of the crazy ones. We hit it off. I honestly had a chance with her. She was just in town for the week, but I figured it wouldn't be a problem if we were in a relationship since I could just go Jetray and fly over to her.

Today was Casey's last day in Bellwood. I asked Gwen if she would be willing to play wingman for me, because she's my cousin and I've always been able to go to her for stuff like that. Instead she fucking lectured me about how I wasn't mature enough to handle a long distance relationship, and how I couldn't even make time for my girlfriend when she lived five minutes away from my house. By the time she was done, Casey was already on the bus to San Francisco, and I didn't get her number. I don't even know her last name.

It's not just Gwen. Kevin makes comments too, and Rook says there's something about me "showing immaturity in relationships" in my Plumber file. The media is convinced that I cheated on you or something. Even my own parents think it was all my fault. They all act like I didn't even try to be good to you.

Well, you know what? I tried. Maybe not as hard as I should of, but I fucking tried. I'm not the only one who's busy all the time. Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to arrange something with you, but then you can't go because you had to play tennis? You've canceled on me too because of stuff "coming up." And when you went off on your first big tour, you only called me once in two weeks because you were so "busy." I get that tennis is your career, but would it really have hurt you that much to take ten seconds to text me?

I know I sound like a hypocrite, but I'm not. You could have taken a sick day and it wouldn't have been the end of the world, but if I stop doing my job, the world could literally end. If I'm not always ready to go hero, there are real consequences. People die.

You can't expect me to be willing to sacrifice innocent lives to spend a day at Mr. Smoothy's with my girlfriend. But everyone expects it anyway. You expected it.

If anyone's a hypocrite here, it's you. You never had to skip a practice for me because it's your dream or some shit, but when a giant robot attacks Bellwood? No, I had to go watch your fucking game, or else I'm an bad person. Well let me tell you something, I'd rather be the jark that misses his girlfriend's tennis game than the monster who let a whole city get destroyed.

A correction on my last letter: I'm sorry I missed your game to go watch the Sumo Slammers movie. I'm not at all sorry that I missed your game to take out the Forever Knights. That was the right thing to do, and I will never let you or anyone else tell me otherwise.

I'm the wielder of the Omnitrix. I've saved the lives of everyone on this planet more times than I can count. And yet as soon as a break up happens, I'm the bad guy. I did everything wrong, and you're completely innocent in every way, aren't you? I don't get how you did it. How did you get everyone to take your side on this? Did you trash talk me behind my back or something?

Well, whatever it was, it worked. Everyone thinks I'm an terrible boyfriend now. Maybe I was, but I'm not that bad. I can get better. But that doesn't matter, since no one is going to give me a chance anymore. You win. Congratulations.

I'm not saying that this is all your fault. It's mostly mine. I was a lot worse than you were, hero stuff aside. But you're not some perfect little angel. I'm sick of having all the blame put on my shoulders. You can take your fair share.

I'm glad it's over. And I never want to watch another game of tennis again. It's boring as hell.

-Ben

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**Quick note that Ben's views on his and Julie's relationship do not necessarily reflect my own. Also, Ben is a really difficult character to write, especially when he's reflecting on things (he's not the most introspective in the show) so sorry if this is all OOC. Hope you're enjoying it anyway. XD**


	3. Person

Dear Julie,

I did some research on Galvanic Mechamorphs yesterday. My phone ran out of batteries on the way home from Khoros. Wasn't much else to do.

Apparently baby Mechamorphs take about 14 years to become adults. This site on the Extranet says they should school around three years old. How old is Ship now? One and a half? Two?

How is he, anyway? Is he starting to talk yet? More than just saying his name over and over, I mean. Are you still teaching him tricks? I hope he can still do the robot suit thing. That was pretty sweet.

It's weird. I never really though of Ship as a person. He's always just been the dog. You think it's bad that we all raised him like one? We probably screwed him up pretty bad. Nothing a few years of therapy can't fix, or a quick reprogramming.

I'm thinking of sending you some of the information I got. Stuff about caring for him and raising him right. And by send it I mean actually send it, not just pretend to send it like with this letter. I'll do it through the Plumbers, though. You probably don't want to hear from me.

Anyway, it's time for everyone to start treating him like a person instead of a pet.

If you're wondering why I care at all, I don't know. It's weird. I guess maybe it's because he's sort of the closest thing I have to a kid? Except maybe Big Chill's kids, but you were there for that too. You know, for a couple that never had sex, we sure ended up with a lot of babies.

...I regret writing that. I should stop before I say anything worse.

— Ben


	4. Dog

Dear Julie,

The Plumbers intercepted a cargo ship with Elena Validus on board last night. They have her under arrest now. I haven't seen her yet, but from what I've heard she's still nuts, and she's still just as obsessed with me.

Remember when she disguised herself as you? Yeah, you probably don't want to remember that. But it got me thinking. When she was with me, she seemed happy to do whatever I asked her, as long as I kept being her boyfriend.

If she actually was my girlfriend, I bet I could re-train her to make her a good guy. Like a basic reward-and-punishment thing. Make it clear that attacking people on my side isn't okay. If I did that, she could be a huge help. We would have a whole swarm of nanobots on our side.

It's not too bad a deal. I mean, I fell for her before, I could do it again if I tried hard enough. She treats me well too, and it's not like I'm going to get a girlfriend any other way. Do you think it's worth a shot?

Actually, no. Never mind. It's a horrible idea. She's too volatile. I doubt I would be able to control her completely, and who knows how she'll act once she actually thinks I'm her boyfriend.

Besides, the only thing she cared about was me. I admit, I dreamed about you acting like that before, but when you—er, her—really did, it felt wrong. It felt like she weren't a real person, just some animal who didn't know how to do anything but follow me around. That's why I insisted on watching tennis with her. I wanted to see something besides me make her happy for once.

I want a girlfriend, not a dog.

— Ben

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**Thank you for all the wonderful comments! ^w^ I hope I don't let you down. So you know, I finished the outline today, and this will probably be about 17-20 chapters long.**


	5. Help

Dear Julie,

I need help.

You know Ester? You met her when all that stuff with Looma happened. Yeah, so, she kind of maybe... asked me out. We're going to see a movie tomorrow.

I'm terrified.

It's too soon. The whole point of writing to you is to try and sort out why I'm so bad at this dating stuff, and I haven't gotten anywhere. Now I have a date and I'm not even close to ready. But I really like her, I mean really, and if I said no that would have made me look like I wasn't interested. And it's not like I can just explain why I need more time. Being told how bad someone fucked up their last relationship isn't exactly a turn-on.

What am I supposed to do? What I usually do? We both know how that always works out. I was going to ask Gwen for advice, but after what happened with Casey, I don't want to take that chance. I can't have her ruining this for me. Rook probably isn't going to give me much to work with, and Kevin is... Kevin. So that's out.

I wish I hadn't fucked up so badly with you. We said we're friends, but I know neither of us are buying that. If we were, we would have talked again by now. You're the one person I can think of who could tell me something useful.

I guess all that's left to do is to make myself like like an idiot as usual and hope she thinks its cute. Maybe I can have everything figured out by the time things get serious. If I make it that far.

Wish me luck.

— Ben


	6. Her

Dear Julie,

I have a girlfriend!

I don't know how, but things went well with Ester. Everything about our date was awesome, except the movie. Don't see Duke of Danger. Worst $8 I've ever spent. We bailed half way through and went to park instead.

Looking back, I have no idea why she enjoyed it. We got hotdogs, but she kept saying that hers was cold. (It was just as hot as mine, actually. I had to wait three minutes before I could take a bite.) I went Heatblast to warm it up more, but I ended up turning it into a pile of ashes. I felt like dying of embarrassment after that, but she thought it was the funniest thing ever. We never found anything for to eat, but she didn't complain at all.

The best part was that downtown got attacked by some mutant plant thing. Well, okay, that wasn't technically a good thing. The great part was how Ester reacted. You would've given up on that date at that point, but she stuck with me the whole time. She even helped evacuate civilians, and then distracted it while I went into for the final blow.

Not only does she like me as a person, she actually has an appreciation for the work I do. She's sweet, she can take care of herself, and to top it off she's beautiful. It's only been a few hours, and I already know this is going to be a million times better than when I was with you.

I think I've got this stuff down now. In fact, I don't think I'm really as bad at all that stuff as you made me look. We just weren't compatible, not my fault.

Thanks for the experience, anyway.

— Ben


	7. Heat

Dear Julie,

So maybe things with Ester aren't going to 100% perfectly.

It's nothing major, and it's not her fault either. Every relationship has a few issues to work out. It's not like I'm going to break up with her over this or anything.

The problem is that Ester is hot in more ways than one. I mean, 100 degrees is chilly to her. I think she has a body temperature of around 170 or something. It's fine when she has clothes on to keep the heat in, but I can't touch her skin without burning myself. It's driving both of us nuts.

I've been trying to find an alien form that will fix this. Heatblast and NRG are too hot. Big Chill is good for me because he's immune to heat, but he's way too cold for Ester. Swampfire technically works, but he smells awful. The closest we've gotten is Wildmutt because of his fur, but even then I can only last a few minutes. Really wishing that I had a Kraaho form right now.

It has to be possible. I mean, Ester's dad was a full-on Kraaho and managed to get it on with a human. There has to be some tech out there that will let us get close enough to kiss.

That reminds me. You know how long it took us to kiss when we were together? Six months. Hell, it took us two months to hold hands for the first time. I've been with Ester for three weeks, which is plenty of time to wait if you ask me, and the only thing standing between us and make-out city is biology.

Maybe it was just us being nervous or you being a prude, but it's not how long it took us that bothers me. It's the fact that I didn't care. Doing that stuff with you was barely ever on my mind, with you or without you. Actually, you weren't on my mind much at all. I'm starting to wonder if I ever really loved you, and if you ever loved me either. I never gave you a reason to.

What about that guy you're with now? Harold? Herbert? Whoever he his. Have you kissed him yet?

— Ben

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**Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! ^w^ Some of you have suggested something of Julie's POV, and while I didn't originally plan for it (Julie has no way of seeing these letters right now), I have an idea to incorporate it later.**


	8. Hero

Dear Julie,

You're not a hero, are you?

The media was always complaining about how I should have been dating a superhero instead of you, and I always ignored it because, as far as I was concerned, you were. I mean, you have Ship, and he can turn you into a battle robot. You can hold your own in a fight.

Well, I just realized something. All that makes you super, but you're not a hero. You don't pull yourself out of bed in the middle of the night to fight off giant robots, or spend whole days tracking down alien outlaws when you would rather be doing anything else. You didn't drop out of school to join the Plumbers full-time. Hell, you're not even in the Plumbers.

I used to think we were the same, because we both have alien superpowers. But there's a difference between us. I've dedicated my life to helping people, and you haven't. I'm a hero. You're not.

But Ester is a hero. You have no idea how much she cares about the Kraaho. She's willing to do as much for them as I'm willing to do for the people I'm trying to save. She spends hours working, she pulls all-nighters, she powers through when she's sick. She makes sacrifices. I know you made sacrifices too, but those were all for yourself. That's not heroic, it's selfish.

The media was right for once. I need someone who cares just as much about the common good as I do, so they won't get jealous when I pick the public over them sometimes. And I'm not going to get jealous when she picks her public over me either. The best part is, we can even help each other.

Don't feel bad about not being a hero. Not everyone has what it takes to be a one. If everyone did, we wouldn't need any.

— Ben


	9. Fix

Dear Julie,

Azmuth may be the smartest being in three galaxies, but he's the universe's biggest sucker for sap.

I ran into him yesterday, and by that I mean I saved him after he was kidnapped by Dr. Psychobos. (He totally could have saved himself, but in his defense, he got drugged.) Rook and I flew him back to Galvan Prime, which gave me some time to talk to him. After he refused to give me the master code (again), I decided to tell him about Ester, and about everything that happened with you.

Thanks again, Julie. It's all the epiphanies I've had while writing to you that got him. I think it's because this whole thing is reminding him of his old girlfriend he told me about once. Were you there for that? I can't remember. Well, she left him because he was too absorbed in his work and didn't heed any of her advice about stopping. You left me for because you thought I was too absorbed in hero work and... actually, it's basically the same reason. I think now that I have another chance, he probably wants me to make the most of it, so I can do what he can't.

I don't understand why Azmuth doesn't go and get another girlfriend. I mean, he's in charge of the whole planet, that's bound to score him some chicks. But no, he just sits around in his lab, missing his old girlfriend. It's been practically a thousand years and he still hasn't gotten over her.

It makes me glad that I'm over you, and I'm glad you're over me too. You are, aren't you? You better be.

Anyway, after explaining everything, he agreed to help me out, which is weird. I mean, this is Azmuth we're talking about. Five years ago he was willing to let the galaxy blow up for an excuse to be lazy. Not only did he unlock the Omnitrix's Kraaho form for me, he did something to the watch that protects me from extreme temperatures. I tried it out, put my hand right on the ship's engine and I didn't even feel it.

I haven't seen Ester yet. She's off on some tribe meeting on her homeworld, and she won't be back for a few days. But when she does come home, she's going to be in for a big surprise.

— Ben

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**Hey guys! Thanks for all the wonderful comments. :) A couple of you had questions, so I'll respond to them here.**

**Master Doom Maker asked me what I think about Omniverse. Personally, I love it, although it's a very different kind of show than AF/UA was. It's just fun. I was worried about the animation too after seeing the concept art, but the style looks a lot better in motion, and has more personality than the old one. I'm enjoying the new series, although I wish they would take stuff seriously every once and a while.**

**trystrike commented on how these sound more like diary entries than unsent letters, and you know what? They're completely correct. Ben is using this as a diary at this point. He's just too proud to call it that. :P**

**Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this so far. **


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